Been listening to this non-stop and it made me cry hard. Because there is so much had I left behind I forced myself to go away. There are some cases where I am also glad that I left. There are also some are I am not proud of…
As I recover from depression, I started to realize many things. I also need to learn many things.
I realize my mistakes and how naive I was. I am learning to love things I used to love again. I am figuring out who I am and what I want. Looking for missing pieces of myself…
The thing about leaving someone’s side is I could never forget the fun we had. There is always something that made me remember those I left. There is a part of me that wants to relive the moment we had. “Looking for a glimpse of us”. Yet I have to keep moving on and not look back.
As an old friend said, “you will always be a villain in someone’s story and you have to accept that. You can’t please anyone, including you”.
I do choose the hard way most of the time for selfish sake. Which rejects me out of everyone and blames all of it on myself…
Falling into the deep spiral of self-blaming and loneliness. and now, I am finally proud to say I am walking out of it now. It’s still progress and I am proud of it. Would I be a better person or not is still unknown…I just hoping for the best out of me.
I can’t imagine the process of making Joji’s new song. It’s painful to understand the meaning behind it. It can be either friendship or a relationship. It’s so tragic and sad. What a masterpiece…
Decem Stellae 