The Hero Won’t Come

You put on a mask as soon as the sunrise up. Cover your sadness with a smile. Raising a curtain to hide away those emotional wounds and try to make others feel the same. Feel like a hero that tries to save everyone’s heart. However, the only thing they do is just run away from those pain. Putting those smiles to hide your tears. Telling yourself you are okay while acting like a hero. Stop being a hero and save yourself. The hero won’t come unless you take a step.

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I am starting to get a grip of myself.
I finally starts to fix myself slowly.
I can understand my own feelings more.
Everything feels great.

Every time I feel down, 
I always remember what you said to me.
“Temporary discomfort for the long term comfort”
Despite we are just a stranger now, your words still stay.
If you see this, I want to say thank you for your kind encouraging words.

Hope you be well and happy.

Fragments of memories

You never bounded by the past.
You keep moved on and went with the present.
You never worry of the future either.

Do you have a memory of us on you?
Do you have a picture of us on you?
I can’t tell. You are hard to read.
You might already forgot about me anyway.
And it is better that way.

For the good of both of us…

Repeated Cycle

Things was much simpler back then.
We can just enjoy our time swinging at the park while enjoying each other company.
I kinda miss that time when we are together
I can always rely on you and we understand each other.
Now that I don’t have that kind of person anymore. Things got lonely.

Do I miss being with you? Not all. In fact, I am glad I am being honest with myself back then.
But I do miss the moment we had together.
“Don’t worry, I am okay” are words I always use to hide my feelings nowadays.
Now that things started to repeat once again.
I just hope it will turned out the same as before.

Everything will go away leaving me with lessons to learn.

Wasted Time

Those closed lips of yours are full of mistery.
You always accuse me of something I didn’t do.
You fill words that aren’t mine.
Yet you never want to open your lips.
Always judging me from behind.

I always try to talk to you yet I am scared of your judgement.
I couldn’t understand you not because I can’t but because I am scared.
I guess we have our own fault.
I can only laugh my naiveness off.

In the end,
Communication need to be embraced with understanding.
Communicating without understanding is just an empty word.
Understanding without communicating is just an assumption.

If both aren’t present, time will just be wasted.
Letting the same cycle goes once more resulting in regrets.

Night walk

It’s just like that night. I walk aimlessly through the night. Wondering what did I do wrong while listening to my favorite playlist.

As the night goes the heavier my shoulder gets. I stare at a starless sky. Nothing shine. It is empty. Truly define the state of heart I am right now. No one would shine in an empty sky alone.

I walk and step on a puddle. I look at my own reflection and saw my pathetic self. I see I am always alone. No one wants to understands me. No one to rely on. It is just me and my reflection all this time.

I laugh at my own self. I always know this would happen again, yet my words fail me. I am as stubborn as my old self do. Pushing everyone away and handling everything alone.

But once I open myself, Someone betrays my trust. It keeps cycling on the same vicious cycle. Nothing to learn. I am just accepting myself and move on as usual.

Nomad

I’ve been living a free life.
I never find a place to stay for a long time.
I am a nomad.
Not because I like being one, but it is hard to find a place that want me to reside.

I’ve been giving my best in every place I’ve ever stay in.
But none really want to do the same.
Since I am just a nobody to them.

My efforts seems worthless to them.
Maybe I am just selfish hoping anyone to do the same.
It’s hurts yet I have to keep going.

I am on a journey to seek for a place to reside, not a temporary shelter.
Let’s see will I ended the journey or the journey ended me first.

Gifted life

I feel like my life has not been mine since 5 years ago.
It is because I was saved by someone back then.

I believe my life was ended and was gifted a new one back then.
I’ve been dedicated my life to support those who saved my life.
I’ve been living recklessly when it comes to saving someone’s life.
I want to give my life to those who really needs it.

Living selflessly is a choice I made because it feels like I don’t deserve all of this.
It is a path I chose moving forward and I am fine with it.
As long I can bring happiness to others, I am all for it.

Chain

No matter what I do, there is always something holding me back.
It feels like something is attached to me all the time.
Ah I see, it must be my fear of intimacy.
It’s not because I don’t like it, it’s because I fear that it will eventually comes into an end.
Feels like a chain is tied on me controlled by my fear.
Is it a bad thing or not I can’t tell.
I just try not to depend on others when it comes to my happiness.

Empty

Happiness will always comes into an end.
It is sad but it is how it always has been.
My heart becomes empty yet my head is filled with memories.
I can always looks back on what we have done together.
All i can do is to enjoy it until it last.